Category Archives: leave domestic violence

El enojo esta’ BIEN La Violencia NO

Versión en español de Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT. Este libro es un salvavidas para los niños que viven en hogares dondé hay violencia doméstica.

Ven a pasar un día con unas pececitos agradables y aprende que hacer cuando estamos enojados. ¿Está bien empujar? ¡No, no es! Pero hay muchas cosas que están bien. Podemos pintar o posiblemente jugar al fútbol.

En el segundo libro de Julie Federico, los lectores conocerán el tema de la violencia doméstica en una manera relevante y aprenderán que El Enojo Está Bien, la Violencia NO.

Comprar el libro aquí.

Spanish version of Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT. This book has a dual purpose it teaches toddlers about temper tantrums and anger control. It is also a lifeline to children living in homes where domestic violence is present. This book offers hope and protection to the most vulnerable victimes of the domestic violence circle. My hope is to teach children to report domestic violence when the adults in the home can not. Sometimes there are too many reasons to stay with the status quo. But I can tell you over time all of the reasons you have for staying will be eroded when you see the damages that have been done to your children. Children are very open to the wounds of domestic violence more so than adults. Please protect yourself and your children from domestic violence.

Purchase the book here.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. “15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year.” – Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Violent Childhood Experiences and the Risk of Intimate Partner Violence in Adults, 2003. https://safehouse-denver.org/domestic-violence/information/children.html
This static rattles me every time I report it. It feels gripping and overwhelming. I am trying to end domestic violence and help the 15.5 million children who are without a voice. I wrote Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT in 2012. I am quietly ending domestic violence one book at a time by getting children to report violence. This book has a great double message and is also an effective tool for toddlers struggling with temper tantrums. The book teaches replacement behaviors to tantrums. To help celebrate Domestic Violence Awareness Month I am discounting the price of Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT to $15.00 until the end of the month. The book retails on Amazon for $22.99 with shipping.  Please private messages me if you would like a copy. Domestic violence is built on silence I am hoping to change this and make violence prevention something everyone talks about. Other ways to be involved in supporting the month awareness:
http://feministcampus.org/5-ways-to-participate-in-domestic-violence-awareness-month/

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Too apparel: Women’s underwear, we donate a pair to women’s & children’s shelters for every pair purchased

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Too Apparel is a “buy-one, give-one” women’s apparel company.  Currently we offer 4 styles of women’s underwear and we donate a new pair of undies to a women and children’s shelter for every pair we sell.  We also sell gift certificates to help make gifting panties a little easier.  We launched 6/1/14, the idea came from a desire to give back after a friend lost his battle with addiction.  Our donations help Survivors of domestic violence, assault and addiction.

Some women leave domestic violence sitiuations with only the clothes on their back. They start their new life with the outfit that they probably grabbed without much thought to early in the morning. Not knowing this would be their last morning at home in front of their closet. No one wears two pair of underwear at the same time. Women arrive at the shelter with outfit they have on and one pair of underwear. Enter too.apparel.  They graciously donate a new pair of underwear to a shelter for every pair sold.  This is good news for the women and children at the shelter.  Their new life begins with a new pair of underwear.  When your life is being altered in ways you could never imagine a few years ago a new pair of underwear seems small but it is really a huge gift.

WEBSITE:   too apparel

TWITTER:  too apparel

EMAIL:  [email protected]

Domestic Shelter Mobile Agency Resource

domestic sheltersdomestic sheltersI want to introduce DomesticShelters.org.  There is nothing like being in a domestic violence relationship to make one feel isolated and without hope. Domestic Shelters is starting to give women hope in any zip code in North America.  A special thank you to the tech guys who made this dream a reality.  Shelters can be found in your area with the tap of a button.  Additional resources are also included to help women after they leave the shelter.  This site is a wonderful resource!

Find Domestic Violence and Abuse Help, Information and Stats The first site and mobile resource with searchable data for domestic shelters in the U.S., plus news and information for those experiencing domestic abuse. Find help, be safe, get smart.

About Domestic Shelters

We make finding the right shelter and information about domestic violence easier. Instead of searching the Internet, it is all right here. We’ve painstaking verified information on shelters in LA to shelters in NY, and every shelter in between. If you or a friend is suffering from physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse or verbal abuse, this free service can help. Select domestic violence shelters based on location, service and language needs. Find 24-hour hotlines in your area, service listings, and helpful articles on domestic violence statistics, signs and cycles of abuse, housing services, emergency services, legal and financial services, support groups for women, children and families, and more.

 Phoenix, Arizona, USA

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Celebrate with a .99 cent copy of Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Have you got your copy of Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT yet?  For the month of October the price is only ,99 cents for the ebook.

“True emotional intelligence is something recognized and respected but rarely taught and discussed, even among adults. The goal of this worthy project is to engage children in a safe, non-threatening exploration of complicated, often-frightening feelings. Federico lets kids know that anger is normal, though managing its expression can be complicated.

Clear language and child-friendly art invite a direct, straightforward examination of when anger is appropriate and how to safely express it through art, physical activity, tears. What’s not OK is hitting, biting, throwing and hurting. The book gently and clearly reminds its vulnerable audience that adults can find the journey just as tricky as children do. If an adult hurts a child or someone they love, Federico instructs her young readers that telling a trusted adult is a safe and right action for them to take.”                                   Blue Ink Review



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Abusers frequently have the following characteristics:

This information was shared by Abuse No More on Facebook.  It is a wonderful list, full of validation for those living with domestic violence.

Abusers frequently have the following characteristics:

Often blow up in anger at small incidents. He or she is often easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really very angry.
Are excessively jealous: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser may claim that jealousy is a sign of his or her love. Jealousy has nothing to do with love.
Like to isolate victim: He or she may try to cut you off from social supports, accusing the people who act as your support network of “causing trouble.”
Have a poor self-image; are insecure.
Blame others for their own problems.
Blame others for their own feelings and are very manipulative. An abusive person will often say “you make me mad”, “you’re hurting me by not doing what I ask”, or “I can’t help being angry”.
Often are alcohol or drug abusers.
May have a family history of violence.
May be cruel to animals and/or children.
May have a fascination with weapons.
May think it is okay to solve conflicts with violence.
Often make threats of violence, breaking or striking objects.
Often use physical force during arguments.
Often use verbal threats such as, “I’ll slap your mouth off”, “I’ll kill you”, or “I’ll break your neck”. Abusers may try to excuse this behaviour by saying, “everybody talks like that”.
May hold rigid stereotypical views of the roles of men and women. The abuser may see women as inferior to men, stupid, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
Are very controlling of others. Controlling behaviours often grow to the point where victims are not allowed to make personal decisions.
May act out instead of expressing themselves verbally.
May be quick to become involved in relationships. Many battered women dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.
May have unrealistic expectations. The abuser may expect his or her partner to fulfill all his or her needs. The abusive person may say, “If you love me, I’m all you need- you’re all I need”.
May use “playful” force during sex, and/or may want to act out sexual fantasies in which the victim is helpless.
May say things that are intentionally cruel and hurtful in order to degrade, humiliate, or run down the victim’s accomplishments.
Tend to be moody and unpredictable. They may be nice one minute and the next minute explosive. Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of men who beat their partners.
May have a history of battering: the abuser may admit to hitting others in the past, but will claim the victim “asked for” it. An abuser will beat any woman he is with; situational circumstances do not make a person abusive.

 

Blue Ink Review on Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT

Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT  Blue Ink Review

Julie K. Federico
Tate Publishing, 28 pages, (paperback) $8.99, 9781618622273
(Reviewed: July, 2012)

Anger is OKAY, Violence is NOT, written by Julie Federico and illustrated by Glori Alexander, is a thoughtful, much-needed addition to pre-school teachers’ and social workers’ libraries. With vibrant, TV-cartoon-like illustrations and simple, direct text appropriate for even the youngest children, this picture book explores the complexity and vitality of anger, and when it is appropriately expressed and when it is not.

True emotional intelligence is something recognized and respected but rarely taught and discussed, even among adults. The goal of this worthy project is to engage children in a safe, non-threatening exploration of complicated, often-frightening feelings. Federico lets kids know that anger is normal, though managing its expression can be complicated.

Clear language and child-friendly art invite a direct, straightforward examination of when anger is appropriate and how to safely express it through art, physical activity, tears. What’s not OK is hitting, biting, throwing and hurting. The book gently and clearly reminds its vulnerable audience that adults can find the journey just as tricky as children do. If an adult hurts a child or someone they love, Federico instructs her young readers that telling a trusted adult is a safe and right action for them to take.

Needless to say, this is complex emotional territory, and Federico’s tone is perfect: even, loving, simple, clear. Educators and caregivers may well find this a helpful tool in eliciting important conversations, and the book includes contact information for The National Domestic Violence Hotline and other respected sources of support.

http://www.blueinkreview.com/reviews/view/867/srch:julie%20k.%20federico

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101 Great Sources for Domestic Violence Prevention

Today’s domestic violence resource link is made possible by Ryanne Gardiner Content Editor @SocialWrkDegree.
101 Great Sources for Domestic Violence Prevention:

Great Sources for Domestic Violence Prevention

Ryanne has worked diligently to compile domestic violence resources from around the nation. I have not seen a more comprehensive list! Thank you to Ryanne for sharing the list and completing all of the research.

If you are a women seeking help from domestic violence be careful about using a home computer to access these on line resources. I think a computer at a library or work would offer you more protection than a home computer. Computers save all kinds of history from sites visited, this history can be erased but I would not trust this function. If you can “erase browsing history” I imagine there is also a way to “restore browsing history.”

The time a women starts to leave a violent relationship or starts to think about leaving is the most dangerous time for her. While she is in the eye of the storm she is not safe, but when she decides to leave her life and well being are greatly at risk. A word to women; you are the abusers drug. If you begin to take steps away from him his violent behavior will escalate. Imagine an addict with no hit, or an addict who just had his drug supply source eliminated. It is not pretty. Please be careful, please seek help from trained professionals to guide you through this oh so dangerous time.

As you read this list you will be surprised at the volume of resources ready to come to the aid of women seeking an escape. When you decide to leave seek the advice of those who have gone before you. Many of them are employed by the agencies listed. Then, can I be the first one to say, “Congratulations on your new life! A better safer life awaits, please get to higher ground today.” These resources will aid you; there is also a state by state section for more regional centers.
http://www.socialworkdegree.net/domestic-violence-prevention/

#domesticviolenceresources
#domesticviolence
#domesticviolenceprevention

Group Author Book Signing: March 29, 2014

Multiple Denver Authors will be at the Tradesmart on 3/29/14
Come by and support local authors from 1-3pm.

Event Date: March 29, 2014
Event Time: 1:00-3:00 p.m.
Location: Tradesmart 8500 West Crestline Ave. Littleton, CO 80123
Phone: (303) 904-2672
Map Link: http://www.thetradesmart.com/locations.html

Welcome to Tradesmart.
Let us turn your unwanted entertainment into CASH or EVEN MORE store credit so you can buy something you really want.
Come in and shop new and used CDs, vinyl, DVDs, Blu-rays, books, video games, game systems, electronics, novelty products, and sports and recreation products. You can sell entertainment products and turn your clutter into cash or store credit to buy something new.  Sign up today and do something good for your wallet, your closet and the planet!
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Letter to Colorado General Assembly regarding domestic violence legislation

I attended a rally with Mom’s Demand Action in October.  They asked the group to write letters to Senator’s and Representatives at the Colorado General Assembly.  It has taken me some time, better late than never.  Below is my letter you can cut and paste this and send it to your representative.  They need to hear our voice of prevention among all of the other noisy lobby groups.  9 women a week die at the hands of their partner or husband.  Of course this is 9 too many.

http://momsdemandaction.org/in-the-news/moms-demand-action-launches-october-domestic-gun-violence-awareness-campaign/

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Control C, Control V away and save a life today!

 

 

Mr. Ferrandino;

I am writing to you on behalf of women in Colorado, specifically on behalf of abused women. Women who are in abusive relationships do not have time to write to you. They are consumed with dodging danger and keeping the peace.

I am asking that you would support any legislation that would protect these women. They are a group you need to go to bat for. You can make a difference in their desperate lives.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Julie Federico
Victim Advocate/Author