Category Archives: elementary schools

Anger is Okay Violence is NOT on Blog Talk Radio

Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT is a book for children struggling with tantrums. I wrote this book for toddlers experiencing anger problems and for caregivers looking for ways to control anger. In the book, positive ways to control anger are discussed. Anger is present, anger is powerful it is important to guide children on how to manage anger. The book also has a message to children who are living with domestic violence and involved with child protective services. My goal is to educate children about what is violence and how to report it. To listen to the program:

Anger is Okay Violence is Not 11/08 by La Femme De Prose0 | Books (blogtalkradio.com)

JulieFederico.com

You can find Julie on Twitter @Julie Federico and on Linked In here:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/authorjuliefederico

And on FB as Julie Federico

FocusonWomenMagaine.com

It’s a Family Affair with Children’s Author, Julie Federico

Tonight it is a great pleasure to welcome Children’s Author, Ms. Julie Federico M.A. with her award-winning children’s books; aimed at teaching a child knowledge of their body and also safety in their personal life. It’s never too early to begin reading to your children and these vibrantly illustrated books are a terrific resource to engage a child’s imagination, catch their attention, and most importantly empower them with the courage to speak up.

Ms. Federico has written a series of children’s books, ‘Some Parts are not for Sharing’; ‘Anger is OK, Violence is Not’; ‘Students Can Help Keep Schools Safe’;’Bad Guys’ and her newest book ‘Friends Are Wonderful’. Her books are geared for parents & educators to create interaction with the children/students, which then teaches them at very early ages how to speak up when they see harm being committed against another being. Children are a key role and carry more weight when reporting Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Bullying, and other types of violent crimes. When a child reports their young voice demands attention.

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/yhttps://www.blogtalkradio.com/yourvoiceradio/2014/04/01/its-a-family-affair-with-childrens-author-julie-federico

New Book for Preschoolers on Race Relations

On the one-year anniversary of George Floyd’s death, we are all pausing to ask. “Has anything changed in the last year?” Each person you ask will have a different answer to this question based on where they have sat in the last year and watched the racial reckoning that has swept the nation. It has been a year that begs more questions than answers. As I start to think about racial problem-solving I think globally. God has given everyone skills, these skills were just given with no test, form, download, or request worksheet necessary. They were just given to everyone at birth. I challenge everyone today to use the skills that God gave them to combat racism. Some people sing others speak publically, some create art, some are good at changing policy, some are involved in the media, some are educators. It will take everyone in our society to change this problem so many different and all skills are needed. Do not discount your skills, they are supreme and so, so needed. Please step up and use your God-given skill to stop the madness. It is more than time. God gave me the gift to write. I never took any classes or watched any YouTube training videos I have just always wrote. Last summer I was deeply depressed by all of the events and adults’ reactions to the events. I decided to leave the adults alone and begin talking to the kids. I thought this audience was an easier sell to have positive race conversations with. I wrote God Made Me Black Because He is Creative and Blackness is Creative as a way to try and intervene. I finished writing the books in August 2020 it has taken me until today 5/25/21 to get both of the books formatted, illustrated, and in publication. I am proud to say that as of today both books are for sale on my website www.juliefederico.com and Amazon. This is my small part to help end racism. These books are the same book I just took God out of the title in Blackness is Creative. I know not everyone is cozy with God and I also wanted to sell the books to public schools. These books are the tip of the iceberg they are not the end of race relations discussion but the beginning. These books are for children ages 18 months and up. They offer young children an important introduction to the topic of race. As children grow you will need to find other more in-depth books. But my books offer a start and are significant to engaging children in the crucial discussion of race. In the book, I tell children things they can do to help end discrimination. I want to gather children and adults together to combat racism. We are stronger together. Conversations of race can be so divisive, I hope to change this. We need to have the strength of the greater community to make an important change. I know this is something everyone can agree on. Discounts are available to agencies and schools for book orders over ten copies. Please join me as we create new chapters for our country.

God Made Me Black Because He is Creative: On SALE NOW!

Order your copy of God Made Me Black Because He is Creative: A Child’s First Book on Race Relations here!

A Child's First Book On Race Relations

 As the summer of 2020 unfolded and I saw so many adults moving to the wrong side of the fence on appropriate race relations views  I was taken back.  I thought our country was a lot further down the yellow brick road of race relations.  I was deeply wrong.  Rather than try to talk to adults whose minds would not be moved despite moving material being presented  I started to think about the kids.  I thought of parents struggling for a common language when trying to talk about these issues with their children.  I thought of the children trying to make sense of issues that just don’t make sense.  I imagine they were left feeling scared and insecure. If they were children of color I imagine there are no words to describe how they felt.  Vulnerable, at-risk, hunted to name a few.   I believe our country can heal from the wounds of racism.  I believe this younger generation will be the last generation to tolerate systemic racism.   At a peaceful demonstration, I attended in July 2020 for Elijah McClain one of the teenagers’ speakers said, “Change is coming and it is beautiful!”  Amen.  Please join me as we create a safer world for all children.

“God Made Me Black Because He Is Creative truly belongs in every elementary school. Equity begins with educating our children about the beauty of diversity.  This book is a unifying plan for a lifetime.”

                     ~Julie Reilly Licensed School Social Worker

How to prevent child abuse

Age four is the average age that children are first approached by perpetrators. Most perpetrators are family members or close friends. These perpetrators are not found on the America’s Most Wanted website. The good news is with a little education you can train your children to resist unwanted touch. Perpetrators are typically intimidated by educated children, and will most likely back off. Knowledge is power for your child. Educate your child today on child abuse prevention. Prevention is fun and easy, give it a try. To read Some Parts are NOT for Sharing a child’s first book on body safety visit: http://juliefederico.com/books/some-parts-are-not-for-sharing/ There is no greater gift a parent can give than the gift of safety.

Please protect your children today. This book is also available in Spanish and coloring book format.

How to prevent child abuse
how to prevent child abuse

I never wanted to be a domestic violence expert

I never wanted to be a domestic violence expert.  I wanted to cure cancer or buy new tennis shoes for all of the homeless children in the country on the first day of school.  I could have gone on Oprah to share my secret knowledge of Science that led to my remarkable cancer cure discovery. Lives would have been saved, families protected.  No, instead I got a Ph.D. in domestic violence by default.  It snuck up on me; I was in the high school years of my degree before I knew what was happening.  I would have never said I was a victim of domestic violence because I was never hit.  If I had been mercifully hit one day soon after we were married in June of 1997 my life would have taken a much more positive turn.  How can one say getting physically assaulted would make their life go in a positive direction?  It is easy.  Had I been hit, I would have known without a shadow of a doubt that I was a victim and needed to escape, my family would have rallied around to support me and get me reorganized in an apartment. I would not have had two children with the abuser that sentenced me to an additional 18 years of unwanted abuse. I would have walked freely into a peasant life free of domestic violence.  I would have built a life with a man who loved me; I would have had children with a man who loved me.  Oh, how I long for this. How I long that I would have been hit, escaped, and rebuilt.  No, I was never hit.  I have been emotionally abused for now almost 20 years; this is where the expert title comes from, unfortunately. Don’t sign up for this lifestyle; it is hopeless and overwhelming.

If you or some you love is living with emotional abuse please know it is abuse.  It is abuse that is much more damaging than physical abuse because it does not present like abuse. There are no physical signs that you are being harmed.  It is easy to ignore the signals and dodge the danger of this isolating lifestyle.  If you look deeper and you will see all of the signs of domestic violence without the physical aspect.  Please seek help, please get to higher ground before it is too late and you have two children with your abuser.  18 years is too long to live in the haunting shadow of court ordered visits with a man who should be put into jail rather than receive custody of his children.  

Domestic shelters.org is a great place to start to look for help. Find help, be safe, get information.          https://www.domesticshelters.org/ 

I have written a children’s book for children living with domestic violence.  I believe it is a lifeline to them, giving children the correct and age-appropriate information they need to escape.  You can buy Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT at www.juliefederico.com or at your favorite bookstore.  This book is also available in Spanish.  Help is available please do not suffer alone.

How to Prevent Child Abuse

April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Yet, this is a topic that needs much more attention than just one month of press. Since the virus has raged throughout the country reporting of child abuse cases has plummeted. While at the same time actual cases of child abuse are skyrocketing. Mandatory reporters have vanished from children’s lives, there is no one to help except the parent who may be the abuser. Children are in such a desperate state and they are for the most part alone.

I think it is wonderful that April is set aside to bring awareness to this problem.  I also have to wonder how it feels to be an abused child in a household filled with control and anger?  I imagine it feels awful lonely and as time goes on and no one rescues you the hopelessness that sets in must be suffocating.  Abused children I am sure wish every month was Child Abuse Awareness Month.  I work to train parents how to keep their kids safe from child abuse.  I also teach young children how to speak up and get help when they are in abusive situations.  It definitely takes a village to intervene with this problem.  I am ending childhood sexual abuse one book at a time but this not fast enough for those living with abuse daily.  It is not fast enough for the five children everyday who die from abuse. #fiveisenough.  1,738 children a year die from child abuse.  This is staggering to my mind and soul.  I feel as if I am holding life preserves with my landmark body safety book Some Parts are NOT for Sharing/Algunas Partes NO Son para Compartir. But just because I hold the life preservers that doesn’t mean I can save everyone. To order your copy of this life saving book visit:  www.juliefederico.com 

In hopes to educate children, my efforts are working.  But five children a day, every day still die usually at the hands of their parents from abuse.  More needs to be done.  More public service announcements, billboards, commercials, and more prevention education.  I am a huge supporter of Erin’s Law, which is moving, across our country state by state.  The purpose of the law is to train all school-age children on child abuse prevention.  There are some lawmakers who oppose this bill; they are not doing children any favors.  But on the positive side, many states have already picked up the law and are making a difference in the lives of children.  Education is the best method for preventing child abuse.  An ounce of prevention can change a child’s life.  Would you like to change a child’s life today?  There is no greater gift a parent can give than the gift of safety. If you want to help here are some easy ways:

  1. Share this link : www.juliefederico.com
  2. Talk with own children about body safety give them permission to tell you if something has happened or is happening to them.
  3.  Contact your local PBS station and ask if they would be interested in airing a child abuse prevention public service announcement.  This is the announcement: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=589839068581920
  4. 4. Ask your preschool or church to have training on child abuse prevention.

If everyone puts forth some effort these efforts will multiply and benefit our children.  Let’s work to make the five a day child abuse deaths a thing of the past.  You can make a difference today. 

How to prevent child abue

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Domestic Violence is Real

October is Domestic Violence awareness month.  I don’t think one month is enough time to shed a lot of light on domestic violence, it is a very complex issue.  But in light of this month’s celebration, I wanted to offer hope to women living with domestic violence.  If hope can be found when your life has been turned upside down and you can not really tell anyone what is going on.

The people who say domestic violence is not real are the same people who say the Holocaust was a hoax.  Domestic violence is real, the pain is real, the chaos and dysfunction equally as real.   It is unfortunately true, it is all too real.  I think when you admit out loud that it is real, you can begin to accept the current situation, and then most importantly begin to change it. 

You need to think only in these simple terms and not shovel grief, regret, and guilt on yourself. Many women spend so much time trying to answer the peaceful sleep interrupted question, “How did I get here? How did I not see this coming?” That they lose sight of the more important question, “Why am I staying?” Don’t spend too much time trying to answer questions that will not benefit you greatly. At this time you need to conserve your energies, don’t look backward only look forward.  Where do you want to be next Christmas morning, do you want to wake up to a peaceful holiday?  Or more of the same dysfunction?  

Abuse is calculated and you were groomed to accept this completely inappropriate behavior that you are living with now. It started with many small acts that sacrificed and ignored your needs. At first, it is so easy to dismiss this behavior.  For example, you never get to eat at the restaurants that you like, only the restaurants that he likes. This theme goes to you trying to turn up the heat in the car while you are driving. He turns it off and says, “You are not cold.”  Each of these things in isolation is not cause for alarm.  In an abusive relationship, this behavior will lead to other inappropriate behaviors more damaging.  What the abuser is doing is baiting you.  He is sending out small problems to you, not eating at your restaurant, not allowing you to use the heater.  He does these intentional low lying behaviors then watches your response.  To your credit you probably just thought this issue was about the heat in the car, right?   It isn’t but at the beginning, you would not know this.  It is not until you educate yourself about abusers’ behavior that you start to see how you were led into this abusive relationship.   It was task by task, item by item. No one meets someone for the first time, goes out to a nice dinner, and gets beaten up on the way home.  This would be waaay too easy. All of your self-protective sirens would be ringing at full speed.  You would get out of the car and say, “I never want to see you again!”  The abuser knows this intuitively they are an expert witness at human behavior.  In the beginning, abusers are hands down some of the most charming people you can meet.  They appear like the boy next door and will do anything for you. There is no standard timetable on when this changes, it just changes over time. Abusers are very patient while they create a seemingly perfect life with you only to turn the tables later.  If none of your needs ever get met and there is an unbalance of power in the relationship you are in an abusive relationship. You may wake up every day upset and unable to identify what is bothering you. Think of the unbalance of power, how as a couple you are always working to meet his endless need list.  Your needs never make the cut, this makes people feel anxious and unloved. You are not crazy, you are living in an unhealthy relationship. I think you should put this on a post-it note in your office.  So often the abuser wants you to believe you are crazy, this absorbs them of any wrongdoing.  Seeing small things like this can make a big difference in your thinking.  It can lead you on the path to wellness.

You should not spend your time changing something that does not need to be changed.  Domestic violence needs to be changed, domestic violence is not fair to those in its ugly web.  The damage that it does to children is life-changing.  If you have young daughters you are training them to accept this type of behavior in their future relationships.  If you have boys you are grooming them to be junior abusers.  Either of these things is enough for women to make changes to leave.  Many times women can not make changes for themselves because they have fallen into the belief of their abuser that their life and their needs are worth nothing.  I say if you feel into this belief, in time you can fall out of it. 

 “You are special too, don’t lose yourself.” Ernest Hemingway

Before women can even begin to think about leaving they have to take stock of their relationship.  They have to see the abuser as calculated and completely intentional in his behavior.  Their favorite trick is to get you to believe that your life and your needs are not important.  They work to get you to this point by repeated abuse, but then in time, they can back off because you believe this to your core.  They step back, smile at their twisted work, and silently celebrate that you are seeing yourself as worthless.  Don’t fall into this trap and it is a very large, tight, deadly trap.  Step back, become an observer in your own life, and see things from a different perspective.  When you become more objective you will start to see what is really going on.  It is not good news, don’t freak out.  Just become aware, notice things, start to accept your reality.  Don’t try to change what is happening in your house, I think this is a waste of your precious energy. Abusers don’t’ change, you can change, you can live happily ever after.  For next steps visit www.domesticshelters.org for life-changing resources.  You are not alone there is a team of people waiting by the phone for you:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

For the month of October, I am offering Anger is OKAY Violence is NOT at a significant discount on my website: www.juliefederico.com

Child Abuse: How to Prevent Child Abuse

Child Abuse

I write constantly about child abuse and child abuse prevention.  I do not know why this is still such a large issue in our culture.  I think some of the problem has to do with silence.   Child abuse is built on silence.  If you as a parent and person in charge of protecting your children say nothing, your child will say nothing to you if they are harmed.  Talk to your children about child abuse even if you do not know what to say.  By talking to them you are opening the door for them to talk to you if something were to happen to them.   It is just this simple.  If you need guidance read my landmark children’s book Some Parts are NOT for Sharing to them.  www.juliefederico.com  This book is appropriate for children as young as six months old.  It is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to body safety.  As your children age you will need other books my book educates the youngest of readers.  You want to be the first one to talk about this subject with your child not the perpetrator.  You want your child to learn that you want to hear from them at the first sign of trouble.  If you do this your child will be harmed only once, then they will self disclosure.  If you do not say anything most children will not say anything if someone violates them.  It is your choice as a parent do you want to protect your kids or not?   It is really that simple.  I would not wait. I would have this conversation today.  I think most parents wait too long to have this conversation. They think the time children are starting to do sleepovers at friends is a good time.  This is too late.  The average age kids are first approached is 4 years old.  You only have two years they are verbal and two years they are not verbal.  My 18 month old daughter understood my book Some Parts are NOT for Sharing. She was not a gifted child, just a regular kid.  I tell you this to encourage you to speak to really young children about this.  Here is a sample script, “Hey Luke, I was reading an article in the newspaper today about body safety.  I have talked to you about a lot of things.  I have never spoken about body safety.  Body safety means that your body is your own.  If someone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or upsets you I want to know as soon as possible.  You will not be in trouble, I want to hear this information.  I want you to stay safe and live freely.  I found this great book that describes more of what I am saying.”  Read Some Parts are NOT for Sharing.  Ask if they have questions, ask if anyone has ever touched them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.  Say that you want to know if anyone does this no matter who they are.  Most kids are harmed by family members so just prepare yourself.  9 times out of 10 your child will not be molested in a Walmart but are much more at risk at a family reunion.  Don’t freak out, just be aware. Awareness is your friend not your enemy. The media over publicizes children who are harmed in public places.  Very few people report their Uncle to the news so these stories are suppressed but these stories of family members harming kids is much, much more common.  I worked as a middle school counselor for over 15 years and I heard many stories of abuse.  Not one of them happened in a public place, they all happened in their own homes with their own families. I am trying to raise people’s awareness on this topic and get people talking.  Silence is your enemy, silence will harm your child, silence will not protect your child.  What can be done to prevent child abuse?  Start talking!  Start reading!  Start listening!

Julie Federico

[email protected]

How to prevent child abue
Some Parts are NOT for Sharing. Child abuse prevention book. Good touch bad touch.
What can be done to prevent child abuse
This is a child’s first book on body safety

#childabuse

#howtopreventchildabuse

How to prevent domestic violence and child abuse.

Prevention books for children ages 0-9 years old. There is no greater gift a parent can give than the gift of safety. Protect your children today!